Checking In

The evening after my last post, my boyfriend came over when I got off work, and I cried on his shoulder for half the night. I was just so PMSy and frustrated about work…

One of the people I work closest with is very loud and always screaming for attention. And she always gets it. I, on the other hand, do my work, and I’m not reclusive or anything, but I always feel like I’m in her shadow. Now, granted, she’s a Web developer and I’m a marketing writer/editor, but I couldn’t believe it when I found out she gets paid four grand a year more than me! I’ve been here longer than her, and I have a master’s degree and she doesn’t. So I cried about that, even though I know logically that so-called IT people always get paid more than us poor starving writers. In my PMSy state, though, I took this really hard and kept saying I need to go get a Ph.D. so I can get some respect (I really do want to do that someday).

Anyway, yesterday was better. I did feel a bit anxious and frantic, but it was a crazy busy day, so that’s to be expected.

I also want to add that, in terms of falling asleep and staying asleep, I’m doing really well with the combo of 100 mg of Trazodone and 1 mg of Lorazepam before going to bed. We’ll see how long this lasts, but it’s been MUCH better than Ambien or Lunesta.

OK, back to work!

I have my first reader! And my med history.

Thanks for the comment, HSP Woman!  It really, truly helps me to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.  I have several other blogs, where I just ramble about TV and my cute cell phone (it’s red) and other fun stuff, and those have all kinds of readers, but since my friends don’t know about this one, it feels a little bit lonely, still.  Am I an emotional exhibitionist?  No, I guess not, since if I were, my friends WOULD know about this…

At any rate, since HP Woman mentioned that she had taken the same meds as me “and a lot of others,” I thought I’d share what I’ve been on, so far…

Let’s see…

•  Zoloft (did nothing)
• Effexor XR (worst withdrawal EVER)
• Amtriptyline (couldn’t even tell I’d taken it)
• Wellbutrin XL (made me super anxious)
• Clonazepan/Klonopin (helped for anxiety to some extent, but not sleep)
• Ambien (only kept me asleep for like 3 hours)
• Lexapro (Still on it — best SSRI yet)
• Lunesta (worked for about a year)
• Ambien CR (gave me my first-ever panic attack)
• Lorazepam (Still on it — good stuff, wish I could take more)
• Trazedone (Still on it)