After yesterday’s difficulty sleeping, I was careful to go to bed earlier last night, and ended up with about 10.5 hours of sleep. Yet, I still feel tired and lethargic. I did get a good long walk in (I always walk 10,000 steps per day–I keep count with my wonderful Omron pedometer), but I’m headachy and lazy-feeling.

Why doesn’t my employer give us Easter Monday off? Boooo.

I went to bed at about 1:30ish, even though I took my Trazodone a little after 12.  I was just into this episode of “‘Til Death Do Us Part” (very funny Court TV show if you haven’t seen it) and then I started taking some kind of online personality test.

Then, I woke up a little after 7, in spite of having less than six hours of sleep (I need like nine hours, to be honest, but I DO NOT FUNCTION if I get less than seven).  My heart was racing for some reason, even though I didn’t feel anxious about anything in particular.  I got up, peed, and took a half a trazodone and a lorazepam and went back to sleep for another three hours.

I feel like such a druggie, sometimes…

Tonight, my boyfriend and I had talked about going to a movie, but then I just didn’t have any desire to leave my couch.  So, we watched baseball.  My team won, which made me happy, but gosh, why don’t I have the energy/desire to like, go out and do things?

Thanks for the comment, HSP Woman!  It really, truly helps me to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.  I have several other blogs, where I just ramble about TV and my cute cell phone (it’s red) and other fun stuff, and those have all kinds of readers, but since my friends don’t know about this one, it feels a little bit lonely, still.  Am I an emotional exhibitionist?  No, I guess not, since if I were, my friends WOULD know about this…

At any rate, since HP Woman mentioned that she had taken the same meds as me “and a lot of others,” I thought I’d share what I’ve been on, so far…

Let’s see…

•  Zoloft (did nothing)
• Effexor XR (worst withdrawal EVER)
• Amtriptyline (couldn’t even tell I’d taken it)
• Wellbutrin XL (made me super anxious)
• Clonazepan/Klonopin (helped for anxiety to some extent, but not sleep)
• Ambien (only kept me asleep for like 3 hours)
• Lexapro (Still on it — best SSRI yet)
• Lunesta (worked for about a year)
• Ambien CR (gave me my first-ever panic attack)
• Lorazepam (Still on it — good stuff, wish I could take more)
• Trazedone (Still on it)

It’s been a few days since I updated, and I apologize to all of you waiting with bated breath to find out how I’m doing.

I’m in a weird state.  Where I would normally flip out and cry, I feel anxious, but not like crying.  I am tired.  I’ve been going to bed earlier than usual (just 20 minutes or so, but still…) and I’m still exhausted by the next night.  I’m not sure if this is a result of the higher dosage of the Lexapro or the Trazodone…. or maybe I’m just getting old.  Either way, I don’t like it.  I’m still young.  I should have a lot more energy than I do.

I don’t go back to the psychiatrist for a few more weeks, so I guess I’ll just keep an eye on this… I don’t exactly feel BAD, but I don’t like how I’m feeling either…