…and for that, I am terribly sorry. Though, it’s really my loss, as I’m the one who is supposed to be trying to “figure myself out” here.
I spent last weekend working my ass off to get various errands done (as well as work for the class I’m taking) before the fun and exciting Nor’easter hit.
I am trying to figure out how I’ve been feeling since my dosage was increased for the Lexapro and Trazodone, about a month ago. Not overly anxious, but a bit irritable (like, a couple of people who mildly annoy me are just driving me insane, so I’m avoiding dealing with them totally, and I’ve felt quick to cry in a couple cases). I’ve slept well, but I’ve also kind of been lethargic.
It’s all just such a balancing act, and I don’t know what to tell my psychiatrist when I go to my appointment this Saturday. It’s, like… I’m getting by OK. Things could definitely be worse. I am just happy I’m sleeping, to be honest. So I’m afraid of him adding something that will screw me up further, but I don’t necessarily want to go on like this either….
Ughhh. If any of my two readers have thoughts on this, I’d love to hear them…
I guess you can increase your reader-count to three. I’d suggest telling your psychiatrist how you’re feeling and your concerns about increasing medication. Medications are a balancing act between side-effects and usefulness. If your symptoms are well controlled with your current medication and you’re not sure how much impact the lethargy and irritation will have on your ability to live the kind of life you want then it may be worth waiting to see how it works out over the next month or two. By then you should have a better idea of whether you want to try higher dosages or different medications, or if you’re satisfied with the benefit you’re getting from your current meds.
One day, one week, one hour… Just remember that you write when you write. No worries. You blog at the right and perfect time for you. Your healing is all about you, and the fact that you are brave enough to face it head on, well … that’s simply a huge accomplishment. I think that it’s so hard for us to just feel “okay.” This culture thrives on feeling great (whatever that illusion may be). If we don’t feel great, medication is dangled in front of us even on tv to make the okay turn into GREAT. As someone I really respect wrote recently, being “Good” is equated with being “Busy.” As she wrote, someone asks, “How are you lately?” The so-called “correct” answer is, “I’m great! Really busy…” That’s really telling about our society’s values, no? And, being a HSP, my gosh… Constantly going, going, going — it can just put us into overwhelm. Then, yes, everything is guaranteed to be worse. Yes, things could be so much worse. You’re doing great by just being “okay”! In my case, I added and added and added meds because I NEVER felt great. Sometimes, okay, but never great. I felt defective! Not the case! My life will never be like I was programmed to be when I “grew up.”. I’ll never be super-wife, super-mom, super-rich, super-thin. And, I’m really okay with that. I am okay. I am better than okay most of the time. We similar types need to bond together and support one another. We are okay. I read another kind of profound expression: We are “human beings,” not “human DOINGS…” Hmm… Our value comes from just existing, feeling. I’m with you, Moodblogger. I’m on your team!