Oh, one more thing to add.
Lately, I’ve been taking my one Lorazepam tablet per day before bed, to help with sleep, along with my Trazodone. Works super. Yesterday, I was feeling extra anxious and I took one on my way home from work. And I started to feel relaxed. I found myself smiling at things, and such. Why can’t I feel that way all the time? I want to tell my psychiatrist that THAT’S how I want to feel, but I think he’d think I was an addict or something. Which I guess I am, a little bit? I don’t know. I just want to feel happy and relaxed.
Hi Moodblogger!
Don’t worry! You’re not an addict in the traditional sense of the word. You are what the enlightened ones in the system call an “accidental addict.” You experienced Feeling X and Doctor Y gave you Drug Z. You mostly take Z as prescribed. And, your body is physical dependent on the drug because that’s what pharmacokinetics dictates. Not your fault. Since drug Z does a pretty good job at eliminating feeling X, you obviously will take more Z. Humans are really good at making connections between stimuli and reward! Benzodiazepines are a short-term solution to an immediate problem. Because of tolerance and dependence, you will start to feel more jumpy and nervous in between doses. This makes us feel like we are chronically anxious when it’s actually just mini-withdrawals. I want to point out one thing you said: “… And I started to feel relaxed…. Why can’t I feel that way all the time?” Think about this possibility:
Maybe how you want to feel all the time is to not feel, period. I can really relate.
Before you took the Lorazepam, that’s when you were really FEELING something. After the pill, your body kind of numbed. That’s not really a feeling, right? It’s a state of being, but not feeling. I am still taking meds, so please don’t think I mean to judge you. On the contrary. I feel we are so similar! I wish I could be the way I am after taking a benzo, but I tried that for 18 years without real relief. Immediate relief, yes. Long-term relief, no way.
You are not an addict for wanting to be able to regulate your feelings. A professional doctor recommended you take these medications.
But, it’s up to you to allow those feelings — yucky and good — inside. My little bunny got really sick last week. I was panicking like crazy. The first thing I did, like a reflex, was think about getting a Xanax. I flushed them, as you know, so I was out of luck. Really, for the first time in 18 years I had to face a possible personal tragedy with other coping skills. You know what, I survived. In fact, I am more proud of myself for utilizing my cognitive-behavioral skills. Very empowering!
My bunny is on the mend, and so am I. So are WE.
I have been on Rx lorazepam for many years and find it to be one of the best to re leave anxiety. I take it 4 times/da. I tried trazodone but its effects were too much to handle. I am now trying cymbalta and found daytime put me to sleep (cops stopped me on the interstate for weaving) but otherwise it made me feel quite good, so I am moving it to eves and I hope that will be better.
i like lorazepam, too. it’s a really nice drug. typically, if you take it regularly it’ll work less and less, but if you take it once in a while it will get you through tough patches. individual reactions, though, are extremely different. i took klonopin for 15 years without having to increase the dose once. it worked just fine all the way through. we are all so different! doctors don’t seem to realize that. that’s why we need to be our own monitors and doctors and pharmacists!
hope this helps.
Hi there!
I’m posting this a bit out of the way, mostly because I don’t want to be associated with a post about your boss… thank goodness for WordPress comment notification
Anyway, I’m writing to invite you not only to receive new, first-hand mental health information in a Revolution Health telephone news conference, but also to help the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) raise money.
How? The details:
Join a small group of bloggers and interview the medical director for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and Harvard Medical School Professor Dr. Ken Duckworth. Triple board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology in Adult, Child and Adolescent, and Forensic Psychiatry, Dr. Duckworth has extensive experience in public health – in offices ranging from Acting Commissioner of Mental Health and the Medical Director for Department of Mental Health of Massachusetts to Medical Director of the Massachusetts Mental Health Center for eight years.
This news conference is one of a series of calls sponsored by Revolution Health designed to give bloggers access to world-class experts in their areas of interest. The call is informational; you are under no obligation to write about the conversation unless you find it useful. I’ve included more information about Dr. Duckworth and Revolution Health at the bottom of this message.
This week’s call is taking place in conjunction with the Revolution Online Health Fair , launched in partnership with 10 national nonprofit organizations, including the National Alliance on Mental Health. At the fair, each nonprofit is hosting an online “booth.” For every visitor to a partner organization’s booth, Revolution Health will make a donation to that partner — for a total of up to $10,000.
Again:
WHAT: Conference call/news conference with Dr. Ken Duckworth
WHEN Friday June 29th, 2007 3 -4 PM EDT; 6 -7 PM PDT
WHERE: Conference Call – number to be provided
WHY: To answer questions on bipolar disorder.
We will also provide audio after the conference if you would like to post a link to that as well.
Please RSVP, either by email or telephone (see below) when you know if this is an opportunity that interests you.
Thanks. We’re looking forward to hearing from you. With best wishes,
Cynthia Samuels for Revolution Health
Email: cindy.samuels@revolution.com
Phone: 202.236-1844
About Revolution Health
Revolution Health (http://www.revolutionhealth.com) is the new health resource website founded by Steve Case, partly because of the difficulties he and his family faced during his brother’s battle with brain cancer. He wants to make it a bit easier for those who follow by providing tools to support both patient and family. I’m working with Revolution to support the work of bloggers who follow health issues. One way we’re doing that is by conducting these topical briefings, just for the blogger universe. Revolution wants to highlight its ability to aggregate and share critical information on health issues by providing new information and contact with health leaders in relevant disease communities.
More about Dr. Duckworth
Dr. Ken Duckworth serves as the medical director for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Triple board certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology in Adult, Child and Adolescent, and Forensic Psychiatry, Dr. Duckworth has extensive experience in the public health arena.
First serving as Acting Commissioner of Mental Health and the Medical Director for Department of Mental Health of Massachusetts, then as a psychiatrist on a Program Assertive Community Treatment team, Dr. Duckworth was also Medical Director of the Massachusetts Mental Health Center for eight years.
Dr. Duckworth won the award for Clinical Excellence from the Massachusetts Psychiatric Society as well as teaching awards from Boston University, for his work at Harvard Medical School, and from the American Psychiatric Association. He was also a recipient of the Ken and Rona Purdy Award for his work to combat stigma.
Dr. Duckworth attended the University of Michigan where he graduated with honors in 1981 and Temple University School of Medicine where he was named to the medical honor society, AOA. While at Temple, he won awards for his work in psychiatry and neurology.
Dr. Duckworth is currently an Assistant Professor at Harvard University Medical School. He is also a board member of the American Association of Community Psychiatrists.
Dr. Duckworth has served as a school consultant for a decade, has had an active private practice, and currently does community mental health work with Vinfen Corporation in Boston as their Medical Director.