The evening after my last post, my boyfriend came over when I got off work, and I cried on his shoulder for half the night. I was just so PMSy and frustrated about work…
One of the people I work closest with is very loud and always screaming for attention. And she always gets it. I, on the other hand, do my work, and I’m not reclusive or anything, but I always feel like I’m in her shadow. Now, granted, she’s a Web developer and I’m a marketing writer/editor, but I couldn’t believe it when I found out she gets paid four grand a year more than me! I’ve been here longer than her, and I have a master’s degree and she doesn’t. So I cried about that, even though I know logically that so-called IT people always get paid more than us poor starving writers. In my PMSy state, though, I took this really hard and kept saying I need to go get a Ph.D. so I can get some respect (I really do want to do that someday).
Anyway, yesterday was better. I did feel a bit anxious and frantic, but it was a crazy busy day, so that’s to be expected.
I also want to add that, in terms of falling asleep and staying asleep, I’m doing really well with the combo of 100 mg of Trazodone and 1 mg of Lorazepam before going to bed. We’ll see how long this lasts, but it’s been MUCH better than Ambien or Lunesta.
OK, back to work!
Moodblogger,
Hang in there. It’s true, life is really unfair at times. Try to remember that comparisons are toxic for people like us. I do it, too. Getting a PhD is great, if that’s really what YOU want. You are respected without it, too. You have a lot to offer. I’d like to see that IT woman write as well and and insightfully as you do. Sometimes when I feel unfairly treated and I cannot really do anything constructive to change it, I always fall back on the “What goes around, comes around” philosophy. Karma, Baby. You will prevail! : ) Who’d want to be her anyway? She’s LOUD. Loud people are almost always deeply insecure, in my humble opinion. Plus, you have a great, understanding boyfriend. She probably goes home to an empty house… (Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch…) But, you get my point, no? : )