I took my Lorazepam with my Trazodone and now I’m having trouble typing sentences.  Ha.  But I wanted to make my daily update before going to sleep.  I am doing a bit better today, I think.   Less on-edge, better focus, etc.  I still had the darnedest time trying to wake up in the morning, but maybe things are getting better…

I feel very… edgy. I’ve wanted to snap at people all day. This is what usually happens when I change my Lexapro dosage, I think, but I forget how long it lasts.

Also, I’ve been super tired and slow-witted feeling. Fun times.

I know from experience.  I am feeling “stable,” which is good.   Some stuff started to get to me at work today, and I didn’t come close to bursting into tears, as I might sometimes.

But, I feel very tired and out-of-it.  I feel like I’m being forgotten and ignored at work, and not invited to meetings I should be invited to.  I don’t, however, have the energy to care.  This is probably a combination between my feelings about my recently uninspiring job and the fact that I doubled my dose of Trazodone and added 10 mg to my Lexapro prescription a few days ago.   I hope this doesn’t last too long because I hate not knowing what’s really a problem, and what’s merely in my head.

Here’s my Technorati Profile. Now maybe I’ll get some readers!

I’m also in Blog Listings.

Today, I am feeling, more than anything, incredibly tired.  I get up at 6:07 every morning, so my typical bedtime is 11ish.  Last night, I got distracted and ended up staying up until, gasp, 11:15 p.m.  I could barely wake up this morning, and could hardly keep my eyes open on the train–which NEVER happens to me.  I generally can’t fall asleep anywhere but my bed.  I’m usually too on-edge.

Actually, the problem most likely wasn’t the few minutes of missed sleep, but the fact that I took 100 mg of Trazodone at 9:45 p.m.  I think that when I first started it, the first few days of adjustment threw me off a bit, so hopefully I’m just suffering from “growing pains.”

As for the Lexapro, I think I’m doing fine with the 30 mg, so far.  No added anxiety or anything, so that’s a plus.  I might even be a bit calmer.  I found out today that a co-worker/friend of mine is having a serious health crisis and didn’t burst into tears, so that’s somewhat impressive for me.

Anyway, that’s all for now.  Is anyone reading this?

Still feeling pretty relaxed.  Took the 30 mg of Lexapro for the first time this morning and took 75 mg of Trazodone last night.  I fell asleep without any extra Tylenol PM, so that’s progress!  Tonight, I’ll take 100 mg and hopefully it will be even better.  The annoying thing is that more than likely, its effectiveness will fade in a couple of weeks.  I don’t understand that…

Yesterday, I felt strangely relaxed, for some inexplicable reason.  I’m not sure why that was.  Nothing in particular changed in my life.  I think it may have been that post-menstrual relief I feel, sometimes, after feeling on-edge and in pain for a couple of weeks.  Also, I am now winning my March Madness pool, so that always helps!

I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and complained that I’ve been kind of up and down, in terms of my anxiety.  Also, the Trazodone I was prescribed for sleep only a couple of months ago didn’t seem to be working as well.   He increased my Lexapro dosage from 20 mg to 30 mg, and my Trazodone from 50 mg at night to 100 mg.

For the record, I am also on Lorazepam for anxiety (1 mg per day) and Loestrin 24 Fe (birth control, but for heavy period purposes, not for birth control purposes).  I will share more about my history with these meds another time.

Hello, hello! I’m not sure if anyone will actually be reading this, but I figured I should introduce myself anyway.

So, hi.

I’m not going to reveal too much about myself here, because I want to feel able to be as honest about my feelings as possible.  But, I should at least discuss the point of this blog, I suppose.  I’m a 20-something East Coast woman/girl.  I suffer from depression and anxiety and am being treated with medications by a psychiatrist.  I don’t want to be medicated for the rest of my life, so I’ve decided to use this blog to chart my emotional ups and downs and see if I can find a pattern, somewhere.  I would love to hear from other people who are going through similar struggles.

So, here goes…